The Not So Great Escape by Gillian Leaver
I met a serial killer once
Nice bloke, it seemed to me
We talked about the weather
While he had a cup of tea.
He came to mend my dishwasher
But little did I know
He’d murdered three that very day
The trial would, later, show.
Young ladies were the victims
Of the Handyman from Hell
He targeted the pretty ones
The skinny ones as well.
So, despite my shiny teaspoons
And my dinner plates streak free
I cried, because the villain
Didn’t want to murder me.